The relationship odometer
How far have you actually gone?
A private, delightfully unnecessary calculator for turning chemistry into distance.
100% private by defaultNo account neededResults in seconds
Awaiting input
0.00miles
Tune the dials, then hit Calculate.
Barely warmed upProper cardioLogistics Legend
Real-world comparisons
Set your couple profile ›
Stored locally on your device only. Never sent anywhere.
Your numbers
Set the pace
Start with the essentials. We’ve tucked the nerdier assumptions below.
Honesty improves the science.
The truth follows you.
›Advanced settings
Thrusts / endeavour
?
BangMiles uses 600 as a playful default based on commonly cited estimates. It is not a clinical measurement. Adjust it if you prefer.
A playful default, not a personal measurement.
Inclusive counts any month you touched.
Local only. Extra embarrassment in verdict.
Updates as you type, 300 ms debounce.
Breakdown
›Show the maths
Calculation logSaved locally on this device
Calculation log
No calculations yet — results auto-save as you go.
›About & FAQ
Is my data private?
Everything stays on your device unless you explicitly submit to the leaderboard. Public entries use your display name, miles total, optional label, broad comparison fields, and submission date. Your calculation history, anniversary date, and settings live in your browser's localStorage.
Where does the 600 thrusts figure come from?
BangMiles uses 600 as an adjustable novelty default based on commonly cited estimates. It is not a dependable personal or clinical average.
Is any of this accurate?
No. The calculator is a novelty. The calorie estimates use generic MET values, the thrust count is an average of averages, and the mileage assumes perfect consistency. It's a fun estimate, not a medical measurement.
How do I remove my score from the leaderboard?
Email hello@bangmiles.com with your display name and approximate submission date. We'll remove it within 48 hours. There's no account system, so we can't automate this yet.
Who made this?
BangMiles is a ridiculous side project, hosted by Teklan Hosting. Peer reviewed by no one. Use responsibly. Or don't.